QUIT LOLLYGAGGING!!!

Hey, Sweet Lou...yeah, I'm talkin' at you. Take your damn head out of your hands and have a look-see at the pissed off, 6'-2" 185 lb. ball of awesomeness and brutal furocity of average white-bread Americana staring you in the face. You think you're stressed out? I have a Saints/Cubs/LSU blog...times are rough around here, and I don't need you starting infected vaginas like Stella Trachsel in the midst of the most critical week of this Cubs' long season.

I know, you probably didn't ask for Trachsel. Hendry thought he'd be cute and "surprise" you with Sean Marshall's right-handed evil twin. What the hell prompted you to start the lineup you flopped on that card yesterday? If Trachsel wasn't bad enough, you go and throw Jock in center (against a lefty, by the way) and a Detroit reject hack named Craig Monroe in right. Don't you know that it's the peak of hurricane season, and Thunder Matt is at Cat 4 status at the moment?

Look, there at the beginning of the week, we Cubs fans felt pretty strongly that we'd sweep this week's game schedule and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. However, after dropping the Florida series via the sweep, things are glum. I'm not going to be all doom and gloom, but backing into the Central Division champoinship and the playoffs is not the way I wanted to watch this team make the postseason. There are only three games left at the launching pad in Cincinnati. For Jeebus' sake, put up 30 runs a game and let's just put this thing away. The Brewers obviously don't want it. Make me want to watch the postseason...y'know, it's been, like...years.

Slap to the Face, Kick to the 'Nads, and a Giant Foot Up the Ass

31-14...again? I don't really know what happened to this team during the summer months, but I want my 2006 Saints back. The team looked really, really, really lackluster during Monday night's debacle, and now that the Saints have fallen all the way down to 0-3 on this short season, the outlook is even more ominous considering the sudden loss of Deuce McAllister for the season due to a torn ACL and meniscus in his left knee. Deuce tore the same ligament in his right knee in 2005, when Aaron Stecker was forced to take the reigns for the remainder of that season. Deuce is a 28 year old running back with two major knee injuries in his short career. His career may be in jeopardy. If Reggie Bush proves that he can handle the full workload of an NFL running back, and hopefully add a little bulk, the Saints might defer not to keep Deuce around for the $3.7M he's due in 2008. They may, however, ask to redo his contract to keep him around, but I wouldn't doubt he be signed by the Falcons and return to 1,500 yard, 12 TD form soon after. The injury bug also bit cornerback Jason David, as he has a broken forearm and is out 4-6 weeks.

Drew Brees was Rex Grossman-esque in the loss and, in fact, the two quarterbacks share very similar numbers so far this year. At a quick glance, Grossman has only 1 TD to 6 INT's compared to Brees's 1 TD to 7 INT's. Wow...that's really startling, especially considering that we all know that Rex Grossman is awful. Surely, this is just a funk that Brees has entered in his brief Saint career.

The offensive line has been pretty shaky so far, something that was expected of them last year, when they were way underexperienced to NFL action. The defensive line has provided absolutely no pressure to opposing quarterbacks. Vince Young, on Monday night, was allowed to stand in the pocket behind his wall of Titan lineman and pick apart the Saints defense. The safeties have been no where near the ball, nor have they laid any hits on crossing receivers. All in all, the team has been "what we thought they were" last year.

The Saints have a week off, and the season isn't over by a long shot. Here is where Sean Payton will show off his giant manhood. With Deuce out, look for some creative packages and designed running plays that maximize Reggie Bush's running style. There will be more draw plays with three and four wide receivers. Look for the rookie cornerback out of Kent State, Usama Young, to get a lot of playing time in the weeks to come now that David is on the shelf. Also, Robert Meachem might see the field as Devery Henderson has been a supreme turd so far. There will probably be some roster moves in the coming week or so, and the Saints may get creative. Or, they might just ride this one out.

Side note: The San Francisco 49'ers recently signed KR/PR/WR Michael Lewis. Good for you, Beer Man. Good luck. Go Saints.

Cubs 3.5 Games Up; Saints Set for Titans

I know it's been a couple days, and I know you've missed the plethera of poo jokes and male genetalia references, but The Dome was away for the weekend, catching up on some good ole fashioned Cubs baseball.

It seems that Lou is the kinda guy that gets it. It may be a day late here or there, but you have to admit, you'd never see Geovany Soto playing in front of Jason Kendall in the past regime, dude. Because, Jason is a veteran and he has experience, dude. And by experience, I mean he's seen many grounders to second base for that sweet 4-3 put out. Dude. My point is that it's entirely refreshing to see our beloved Thunder Matt getting starts during the weekend with Geo. Although some might loathe to admit it, Lou decided to give Ronny Cedeno a start and he singled and homered in three runs to help in yesterday's 8-0 win over Pissburgh. What's even sweeter is that these guys are getting chances to help out and they're actually coming through.

One more thing before I move on to the Saints...big ups to Sam Fuld, the kid who made that outstanding double play in Saturday's game to get Scott Eyre out of trouble in that inning. That may very well be the Cubs' play of the year.

The Saints take on the Tennessee Titans tonight on ESPN's Monday Night Football. I'm excited about the game, but the Saints really need to focus tonight because the Panthers and Bucs are poised to make this a two team race before the blink of an eye. Go Saints, Go Cubs!!!

0-2: Gotta be a Rope-a-Dope...Right? Right?

Ugh. You knew that the Colts were probably going to beat the Saints in Week One. It's pretty much written in the United States Constitution that Peyton Manning win every game he ever plays in and also must star in every NFL commercial ever. I don't mind Peyton. In fact, I find him to be quite humorous. And, there's that whole 6'5", 245 lb quarterback with the laser, rocket arm thing he's got going. He's good...no, he's great. We get it. But, after the dismantling the Saints took two Thursdays ago, you really didn't expect a team of Sean Payton's to just bend over and spread 'em like they did yesterday againts the Buccaneers.

How stupid is the secondary in New Orleans? The Bucaneers threw to only one receiver...his name is Joey Galloway. Don't the coaches know that Galloway absolutely shreds this defense every time they play Tampa Bay? Hell, they might trot out another receiver just for semantics, sure. But, throw to another receiver than Galloway? Uheard of. From now on, I want to see five defenders all over Joey Galloway until the Bucs prove that they can do something else to beat us.

Next on my shit list is Jeff Garcia. Just when I thought we had burried this shitkicker for good in last year's playoff game against the Eagles, he resurrects himself from the dead and is now the new Joe Montana? Kiss my ass, you Sloth look-alike.

And finally...what the hell happened to this offense? I'll tell you what happened. We can't stop the pressure from getting to Drew Brees. Although he is fairly good at avoiding sacks by getting rid of the ball, pressure leads itself to many inaccurate passes and on rare occasions, interceptions. Not good for the whole "winning" idea. Our receivers can't catch this year, and our running backs can't hold on to the ball. It was just a terrible game all around.

The Saints are in last in the NFC South. However, with the three other teams at 1-1, that only puts the Saints a single game out of first with 14 games left on the year. Next up is Tennessee on Monday night. Let's hope to Jeebus almighty that this ship gets turned around...and quick.

The Departed

No, this isn't one of those legendary TDIH movie reviews (though, be on the lookout for a review of a couple flicks I saw recently). This, sadly, is a report on one of my very best friends in the whole wide world...he's now one of the departed. He is...my XBOX 360. And, he's experienced what you see to the left, more commonly known (amongst the super breed of nerds) as the Red Ring of Death. This little gem occurs when an XBOX 360 undergoes an "internal hardware failure." Yeah, I know. Tragic.

If that isn't the worst of it, I consulted the XBOX help line and some robotron voiceover named Matt assisted me. Come to find out, the three red lights on the ring of light is a fairly common occurance, especially among the early models of the 360. At this moment, I was fearing the worse. Moreover, I realized that I bought my console off ebay, realizing that I probably don't have any kind of warranty. And, in fact...I didn't.

However, after going to the www.XBOX.com support website, I was able to register for a Windows Live account, thus registering my console with XBOX.com and getting me set up for a future of XBOX Live gaming, once my console is back in my graces, safe and sound. All I had to do was register a repair for my 360, and the good folks at Microsoft willl send me a prepaid box to ship it to their repair center.

To make this long story short, I've just sent off my console to the XBOX Texas repair center, and I'm hoping that the wonderful surgeons at the facility have no complications and all will be well. It's been a rough week since the ring of death hit, but with the prayers of the faithful and a few too many adult beverages, I shall survive.

Jeebus...16 To Go

Forgive me, but it's Friday and I had the day off to enjoy good times with the little wife, some sushi, and a good movie (Beerfest--movie review to come), so I'm deciding to leave today's entry a little short and pretty much laxidasical.

The Cubs topped the Astros in Houston last night, taking two of three. They head to a world of jorts and mustard-stained muscle T's ("muscle" used loosely, of course) to face the Cardinals. Hopefully, the Cubs can scrape their bare asses across the grave that will be the Cardinals season this weekend and move ahead of the Brewers. Only 16 games left to a fairly mediocre season. But, in a season when piss-poor wins the NL Central, let's hope the Cubs can be the least bad team and make it to October. Finally. Yay?

Position by Position: Running Backs

Well, here it is you little babies. I know all zero of you have been waiting patiently at your computers for today's "Position by Position" installment: Running Backs. So, I will thank you in advance for taking time out between porn surfing, self-violating sessions to have a look at this year's running backs class, which has changed a whole lot of nothing since last year, save for a rookie free agent making the squad. Alas...

Starting Tailback: #26, Deuce McAllister (Mr. Fantasy); Madden 08 rating of 89

In the 2006 season, Deuce rushed 244 times for 1,057 yards (a solid 4.3 yards per carry average) and 10 rushing TD's, while managing to catch 30 balls for 198 yards in the Saints' intriguingly diverse offense. Known as a fan favorite in the Dome, and a native of nearby Lena, MS, Deuce was accepted by the Superdome crowds as soon as he was drafted out of Ole Miss in a surprise first round selection by former head coach Jim Haslett in 2001, a year in which incumbent headcase running back Ricky Williams was still on the roster. Since then, Deuce has been a predominately power-style runner, when healthy, and a model citizen throughout his career. Never a problem child, Deuce welcomed the apparent movie star man child that is Reggie Bush last year and the two have teamed up to be one of the most formiddable one-two punches in the NFL since Draft Day 2006. Deuce has always been a team player for the Saints, and I hope that he can finish his career here, even though it may seem that Reggie is the heir-apparent to the throne in New Orleans. The Dome loves Deuce, and so does Mrs. Nutsack. 'Nuff siad.

Second String Tailback, #25 Reggie Bush; Madden 08 rating of 89

God bless the bumbling morons in Houston, TX. First, they help us after Hurricane Katrina, then they decide that some schmuck on the defensive line would be better for them than all-world running back Reggie Bush. Though, Reggie may be disliked and despised by some, he's done nothing while with the Saints to prove the notion. Hailing out of Southern California, one would assume he reeks of Leinartesque flamboyance and sporting the Pete Carrol smirk of "I'm better than you," however overconfident Reggie might seem, as long as he leaves it on the field, he's fine by me. Keep up the good work, Reggie.

Third String Tailback/Return Blocker, #27 Aaron Stecker, Madden 08 rating of 74

Stecker was primarily a backup third-down back last year, however playing a major role in special teams as a return blocker for Michael Lewis. Always giving 100% on the field, Aaron has proven his worth with reliable hands and a versatile power/shifty running style. He's a reliable backup for carrying the load if Deuce gets hurt, and it would be very interesting to see how Coach Payton uses him if that happens.

Fourth String Tailback, #23 Pierre Thomas; Madden 08 rating of UNRATED (Not in the game)

Pierre who? I'll tell you who. Thomas went undrafted out of Illinois this year, and the Saints signed him to a free agent contract after the draft. Despite the Saints picking former Ohio State running back Antonio Pittman in the fourth round of the Draft this year, what was considered a high value selection, Thomas beat him out hands down. Maybe the final straw was the Kansas City preseason game, where Pierre rushed for over 100 yards and showed the ability to break tackles and displayed superior footwork to Pittman's. Ultimately, Thomas may prove to be a good return man at best, but beating out a fourth-rounder for a roster spot is a vicotry in and of itself. Well done, young man. I sincerely hope you get your chance.

Starting Fullback, #44 Mike Karney; Madden 08 rating of 88

Karney's been with the Saints his entire career, an original draftee of the Jim Haslett era. A fine pickup he was, as he's been one hell of a lead blocker for Deuce and the gang. His coming out party may have been in Dallas last season, where he scored three touchdowns in that game, the only three of his career. Karney's one of the most underrated backs in the NFL, but I assure you he's widely known among the NFC South's defensive units. He's been a beast so far for the Saints, and I hope he'll continue his success for years to come. He's one of my favorite Saints, and a peculiar one I must admit. A smash-mouth blocker that will eat children, piss excellence, fart awesomeness, and crap asskickery, Karney is perhaps the best pure blocking fullbacks in the NFC, and maybe only second to San Dieog's (in French, it means "a whale's vagina") Lorenzo Neal, a former Saint himself (1993-1996).

Well, there you have it. Next up, a look at the Saints' receiving corps, which might take up all the space on the front page. I hope you knucklebrains are ready.

SIDE NOTE: The Cubs beat the Astros 3-2 in Houston last night, amidst the looming fury of then Tropical Storm Humberto. They moved back into a first place tie with the Beermakers, and with only 17 games to go in the campaign, who really would have thought they'd be this close? Go Cubs, Go Saints!!!

A Promise is a Promise

I did promise a few friends a post for yesterday. I also promised another look at the Saints in the Position by Position series. That, hopefully, will become a reality soon...if you're good. Anyhow, since I really don't have anything relevant to say, here are a few things going on in the world of sports, and in the world in general, to go along with a moderately funny/interestingly disturbing picture. I don't know when, where or why this was taken, or if it is a doctored photo, but if it's real, the folks in the foreground re completely way too into themselves. Anyway, here goes the nieghborhood.

The New England Patriots, otherwise known as the love children of ESPN, are cheaters, cheaters, pumpkin eaters (sorry, Wrigleyville23). That's right, Belichick and the rest of the Pats were caught as a spy, on behalf of the Pats, was caught video taping the New York Jets' sideline. Boooooo...go to hell, New England. Take Hillary Clinton and the BoSox with you.

Saint Louis Cardinals former pitcher, turned outfielder/Barry Bonds wannabe Rink Ankiel was found to have used HGH, or human growth harmone, in his "comeback." Aaaawwwww...what a joke baseball is starting to be. As much as I hate Ankiel and the Cardinals, you have to wonder...if Ankiel took a year's supply of HGH and baseball is all over his back about it, just as he begins to see some success and can make a living out of being a real-life baseball player, why the hell can't MLB nail Barry for God knows what he took to become the next coming of Joe Young. By the way, since Barry isn't in the MLB Player's Association, his real name isn't used in video games. So, they actually use the name Joe Young. Please click the link on Joe Young...the irony is so ZING!

LSU is awesome at this crazy American sport called football.

I saw Super Bad. I'll have a review on it soon.

The Cubs are back in 2nd place. This will be followed by two days in first, three in second, two more in first, and me kicking myself in the gonads because I hate this team! But, really...just win the damn thing.

Britney Spears is old and fat. And obviously a retard. Sorry to all you retards, I know that comparison is harsh.

Okay, that's about all I got for now. Sorry for the lackluster effort. I'll try harder next time.

The Dome is Back

Well, The Dome is back from vacation, and just in time to catch the Saints getting a gigantic scrotum thrashing by the hands of the Colts. Let's just say that the mood is somber at the moment...the Cubs (well, Dempster) blew a lead today and lost to fall to the Dodgers and tailspin into a first-place tie with the Brewers.

Drew Brees has been nothing special tonight, throwing for a little more than a hundred yards with a pick and a fumble so far through the fourth quarter. However, the biggest reasons for the bad showing tonight has to come from two areas: cornerback Jason David (who will now be called Fred Thomas, Jr.) and the offensive line. But, don't fret Saints fans. This Colts team is very special. They look amazing, and in rare form. I don't think this Saints team can compete, at their very best, with the Colts just yet. In any event, Fred Thomas, Jr. better remember what it feels like to be a professional football player soon, because if he doesn't, he'll be handwashing Fred Thomas' jockstrap for the next couple months.

Keep your heads up. The Colts are an amazing team, and it was an unlucky draw for this upstart Saints club. New Orleans never really showed up, and it can be concerning. But, this is one of the best teams in the NFC, regardless of what the Colts do to them. It's going to be a good season for the Saints, but let's not try to be blinded by last season's miracle. More to come, later, like the running backs "Position by Position" series, and maybe a few poo jokes and audible fart noises, if you're lucky.