Thursday, January 18, 2007

8-Bits are All We Need

So, the geniuses over at Thunder Matt's Saloon have played out the NFC Championship game between our beloveds and the Chicago Assclowns. Using the finest in technology, an NES and duct tape, they've found that the "8-bit" Saints, as they call them, win the "8-bit" NFC Championship 28-10 over da "8-bit" Bearsssss and head to the "8-bit" Super Bowl in early February. If the duct tape holds, they'll end up playing the "8-bit" New England Patriots.

Well, that's all well and good. Hey, if a regular Nintendo knows who will reign supreme, you think ESPN can get it right...right? Mmm-hmm. We'll see.

So, that's it, right? We don't have anything to worry about. Nah...I think it'll be a tough game for the Saints. Even though Sexy Rexy (that's just not right) is a complete basketcase, the defense of the Bears is really what scares me. I'm not worried about their offense. We've seen enough of Moose to even care, and anybody else on the receiving corps is almost a cadaver. The offensive line is solid at center, but Hollis is back and he proved how valuable he is in the Divisional Round against Philly. My "where the hell have you been" player of the game is going to be Charles Grant. Big #94 will need to prove his worth to the franchise, or else we'll be looking to free agency, the draft, or Rob Nincovich to fill his void next year. Hopefully, Grant will come up big on Sunday. If not, happy trails, you rasta-headed freak. (Not "freak" in a bad way, but in a good way...huh?)

It will come down to the weather and the Saints' offensive line and running backs vs. the Bears' front seven. We all know about Urlacher and Briggs. Urlacher is a great football player, and he strikes fear into every Bears opponent. However, these aren't the same ole Saints. They could have folded many times this year. The only defense that remotely compares to the one they play on Sunday is....ummmm....the Ravens. And, we all know how well that played out, right? Woof. But, in that game, the Saints were fresh (or rotten) off a bye and they came out overwhelmed and flat. The Ravens just simply overmatched them and the offense had no idea that holding on to the football was a good thing. It was tough to watch.

So, after all this in-depth knowledge and scrupulous break-down of Sunday's matchup I've just spewed for you (quit laughing), my gut tells me be careful...don't get your hopes up. But, this is a special Saints team. There's something intangible that always keeps this team in the game, no matter the conditions. The weather (click here) for Sunday at Soldier Field is supposed to be near freezing with expected snow flurries. Yay...can't wait. You can say that these guys are professionals and should be ready for anything, but you have to liken the Saints in the snow to Bubble Boy in the middle of the Outbreak movie...not good. We'll have to see...hopefully, we'll be seeing a lot of this:


Anonymous said...

First off, you have way too much time on your hands. I like it; it sounds like you know what you're talking about. Second, how the hell does this thing know what my name is?

In a nutsack... said...

I don't know. Maybe because you have a Google account, somewhere in the vastness of cyber, you may automatically be logged into your account when you open the internet or have been logged in and then came to this site...yadda, yadda, yadda.

Keep coming back. I'll try to stop posting long articles at work and save those for home. That way my rapist wit can trully shine. I'll try to post daily.

Katie said...

I am so impressed by your blog here. Coming from an English grad thats pretty big deal(if I don't say so myself). I am going to love coming here and reading your thoughts on our Beloved.

Jay, yes it is scary that this thing knows my name, but hell it is a haunted site.

In a nutsack... said...

Thanks, kids. The more, the merrier.