Wednesday, March 28, 2007

LenDale White, Giant Sack'o Ass Potatoes

In a Yahoo! Sports article, LenDale White, former USC "second fiddle" to Reggie Bush, reported to Tennessee Titans offseason conditiong program at an astonishing 260 lbs. LenDale finished the season in 2006 weighing in at a Deuce-ish 230 lbs.

At USC, LenDale was a pretty good bruising compliment to Reggie Bush, and he proved his worth as a high draft pick by the Titans in 2006. For the Titans in 2006, LenDale appeared in 13 games and only rushed 61 times for 244 yards and caugth 14 balls for 60 yards and an astonishing 0 touchdowns.

In 2007, White was supposed to compete and subsequently overtake the cold corpses that Tennessee calls running backs and start. Granted, wieghing in at 260 lbs. isn't one of the seven deadly sins, but at running back? Some have done it before, but for LenDale White this is LenRidiculous. LenIn fact, I LenBelieve that if he doesn't LenLose LenWeight, he'll be Lenwishing he'd joined LenWeight Watchers instead of sitting on his couch and playing countless hours of Super Mario Kart and eating fried chicken wings, topped with cheese and jalapenos with ranch dipping sauce...mmmmmmmmmm. That's hot.

So, instead of running over NFL defenses in 2007, LenDale will be riding a stationary bike and picking lent out of his belly button on the sidelines. In one offseason, he went from "almost as good as Reggie Bush," (which is pretty damn good), to being this guy:



LenDale, you're a world class athlete that got paid in college (because USC pays it's players...fags) and is making an assload of money playing in the National Freaking Football League...the least you could do is hop on a treadmill while watching "Pimp My Ride." You should be ashamed of yourself. You should also take a page out of your former comrade's book and work your ass off, even though you have the God-given talent of making NFL defenses look like retarded animal babies drowning in a swimming pool...or something. I hate to see that much talent being thrown away. I guess he figures he's made his fortune, why should he work for it? Some guys have all the luck...they just all seem to have heads full of nanner puddin'.

5 comments:

erwhitey said...

Nanner puddin' mmmmmm good

Jay said...

I always love a good bashing.

In a nutsack... said...

Just trying to point out a few things. And, quaint mentionings of nanner puddin' are always good.

Katie said...

Get in my belly.

In a nutsack... said...

Aaawwwhhh...looks like I pinched off a little rosebud...