QUIT LOLLYGAGGING!!!

Hey, Sweet Lou...yeah, I'm talkin' at you. Take your damn head out of your hands and have a look-see at the pissed off, 6'-2" 185 lb. ball of awesomeness and brutal furocity of average white-bread Americana staring you in the face. You think you're stressed out? I have a Saints/Cubs/LSU blog...times are rough around here, and I don't need you starting infected vaginas like Stella Trachsel in the midst of the most critical week of this Cubs' long season.

I know, you probably didn't ask for Trachsel. Hendry thought he'd be cute and "surprise" you with Sean Marshall's right-handed evil twin. What the hell prompted you to start the lineup you flopped on that card yesterday? If Trachsel wasn't bad enough, you go and throw Jock in center (against a lefty, by the way) and a Detroit reject hack named Craig Monroe in right. Don't you know that it's the peak of hurricane season, and Thunder Matt is at Cat 4 status at the moment?

Look, there at the beginning of the week, we Cubs fans felt pretty strongly that we'd sweep this week's game schedule and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. However, after dropping the Florida series via the sweep, things are glum. I'm not going to be all doom and gloom, but backing into the Central Division champoinship and the playoffs is not the way I wanted to watch this team make the postseason. There are only three games left at the launching pad in Cincinnati. For Jeebus' sake, put up 30 runs a game and let's just put this thing away. The Brewers obviously don't want it. Make me want to watch the postseason...y'know, it's been, like...years.